Insights into novel Writing.

Right now i'm sitting in my living room floor, indian style and hunched over the computer screen that is sitting on my lap. I'm in blue boxer shorts and a Battlestar Galactica t-shirt. My reddish blonde hair is messed up despite me having tried to pat it down after my shower (it's getting longer and to the stage where it's impossible to deal with). In my DJ style Headphones i'm listenign to a a local rapper named Big Chef (those of you in the springfield township area know him as the 6'3" black man who worked as the fry cook in the Manhattan Bagel in flourtown).

so I'm sitting here trying to develop a mixtape to help me zero in on certain aspects of the different characters I'm working with in novel. I know to some of you that may seem rather weird but I assure you it helps with my personal process. I find music to be the ultimate creative catalyst for me when it comes to writing- it allows me to tap into the voice of the characters by imagining the style or type of music they listen to. Looking back on my notes from when i began writing I've always worked this way. In my plan sheets I had the usual shit of height, weight age color etc but then I'd always have 'music' listed underneath all that.

In the case of Farcry I've mainly been working with the album Music for the People by Vast. It's what i listened to when i first began writing the original passages (the ones i've posted here) and it's allowed me to get into Pete's mind frame of his discussing his drug addictions and guilt over his inability to save his girlfreind. It's given Pete a voice.
Then last night I began plotting out the actual death scene of Melanie (if you read my stuff then you know she's dead) and the VAST music wasn't working for what I was going for. So i went to random and the first song it played set what I needed. The song was Within Temptation's Jillian (I'd Give My Heart) and (despite it being a female singer) It felt like the words were the character Pete discussing his loss and grief.
(lyrics)
I've been dreaming for so long,
to find a meaning to understand.
The secret of life,
why am I here to try again?

Will I always, will you always
see the truth when it stares you in the face?
Will I ever, will I never free myself
by breaking these chains?

I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Your destiny is forlorn,
have to live till it's undone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I'd turn it back and then at last I'll be on my way.

Jillian our dream ended long ago.
All our stories and all our glory I held so dear.
We won't be together
for ever and ever, no more tears.
I'll always be here until the end.

Yeah when I heard the lyrics I heard Pete, him talking and discussing the events surrounding Melanie's death and his pining for her back, his guilt that his actions directly affected her life and eventual death. so with these lyrics in mind i went at re-writing the scene and the result, to me at least, is much more full of emotion than what I had prior- which felt more of a stating of events with an announcer than an actual peek into a broken man's soul.

For thsoe who've asked whether I'll stick with this or abandon it all i have to say is this: I'm definitely sticking with this novel, at this point in my life i need to finish this. I need to prove to myself i can write a coherant novel with a decent plot and writing. I've found that there's alot of old ideas and characters coming out in this one who i thought were lost or I'm reimagining in this. I feel my general writing ability is stronger and I'm able to carry things further than simply list a series of events. In other words i'm more confident. and i guess it's all you need, right?