7 years later...

as a kid my mom once told me when she remembered the day Kennedy was shot. She recalled where she was, what she was doing and everything about it. She was about 16 years old and she seemed to have this tone in her voice, a sense that when she felt part of her dissapeared that day. Like a part of her innocence or something left her, from what I could gather since the whole country was in the same shock my Mother was in.
I wouldn't be until years later when I would experience anything near what my Mother did that day in the 1960s. On two such occasions I would have that 'time stood still' moments of tragedy- Columbine High School and September 11th, 2001 (though my earliest memories include the Challenger explosion).
When that day happened I was 3 months out of high school, 19 years old (yes I know- old) and late for English becasue the SEPTA service was acting like shit (again). Rushing to class I arrived to a room of silence where none of the computers were on and the professor (Mr. Whyte) was just sitting on the desk in the front of the room. Now Mr. Whyte is one of those old professor's who have this distinct talent of showing less emotion that a Terminator zoning in for the kill. But today I saw immediately was different. I apologized for being late that day.
"Just take your seat Mr. Ross, it's time to get started."
So I walked tot he back of the room and took my seat next to Katelyn and began unpacking my things.
"Mr. Ross why are you late today?" Mr whyte asked me as I pulled my work disk out with my books.
"I was waiting for the bus, septa was held up for some reason."
"OK. I thought it was for a different reason."
"Uhhh.. what would that be?" i asked, legitamately puzzled.
"A plane flew into the world trade center." he replied. WHen he said it I didn't think anything of it, to be honest. I mean planes fly into buildings all the time, right? Well, maybe not all the time but the thought wasn't that far out of the realm of reason. Mind you this was also before the second plane hit and before we knew what had actually happened. Mr. Whyte's assignment for the day was to be teamed up with another student and do an interview assignment- talk to them and get the lowdown on their lives. I was teamed up with a blonde boy named Josh who, i would find out, was joining the air force.
We decided to do our interview over some coffee and lunch at the campus cafeteria. When we arrived the whole place was crowded with students and faculty alike, must have been about 200 people crowded into the room staring in silence at the tvs which showed images of fires and smoke gushing fromt he sides of the buildings. Apparently we had jsut missed the Pentagon.
sitting at one of the tables we attempted to discuss the assignment- why we didn't look at the TVs I don't know. Still don't. after a while Josh and I parted ways and I wandered close to the crowds where I saw my friends Chris and Jake. We didn't greet eachother, just simply nodded to eachother. some flashes that stand out:
-nearby I can remember hearing people saying things like 'if they got NYC what's goign to stop them from Philly?!"
-if they want body count there's King of Prussia Mall!
-girls on the floor, huddled togethor crying. a boy holding tight onto a man in a suit (presumably a faculty member), I remember the man's shirt darkening from the boy's tears.
- a boy talking world war three.

After a while the three of us turn and head toward the game room. Nothinghelps a national tradegy like a game of pool with your boys. we spent the next 3 hours in the game room- going between the pool table and Tekken Tag Tournement. We laughed, joked, bullshitted about things. Teachers, friends, music- everything was game except the one thing that was on our minds. For those three hours we escaped that reality on the other side of the building- the reality of our fellow collegemates were witnessing on the tv screens. For those three hours things were grand.
"Hey guys." a security guard for the campus said as he was came into the gameroom.
"Hello." jake said.
"I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave."
"Dis we do somethign wrong, Sir?" I asked him.
he stood a moment before speaking. "The president closed the school down for the rest of the day. I hav e to go around and lock things up. Finish your game and go home. I'll give you fifteen minutes." then he left.
The three of us stood there for a moment before we put our cues on the rack against the wall. We knew we couldn't put off the inevitable any longer.
"Well I guess I'll go see if the SEPTA is running." I said to them.
"Nah man, I'll giv eyou a lift in the Nova." Chris said.
"You sure? I don't have any money to pitch for gas." it was true since I used bus tokens for rides and pocket change for lunch. Usually, when he gives rides, Chris asks for five bucks to offset his gas bill. He said 'no, its cool. I'll charge you double next time.' A lame attempt at a joke. none of us laughed.

The feeling outside wa something quite surreal. What I remember most about that morning isn't how I found out, it isn't the pool game and it isn't the sense of panic but the weather. I remember it being one of the most beautiful days i've ever seen. The sun was shining, the sky was blue the clouds were puffy and white- if i took photos back then it would have been photographic perfection. The campus, usually teeming with students, had this uneasy emptyness about it- like an aura of death that belied the clarity of nature's beauty. With the absense of people we were engulfed in silence (I don't remember hearing any birds, I don't remember seeing the trees swaying in the wind). It was as though the Zombie Apocolypse had started and everyone had already barricaded themselves indoors and we were those three hapless guys left to defend themselves.

The ride home wasn't much different. It's about 20 minutes from MONTCO to get to my house and the whole way there we didn't encounter a single car on the road. At one point Jake made the mention that he felt we some how had slipped into the Twilight Zone and, looking back now, I'd have to agree. The whole world now feels like we've slipped into some kind of crazy parrelel dimension where all the world's problems are occuring. But, like our pool game, that is just a fantasy.
Other than Jake making mention of the twilight zone the car ride itself was silence. We all wanted to say something but none of us could think of anything we could say. What could we say? Our country was attacked- a symbol of our country's status in the world was lying in rubble. Thousand's dead, more to come. and here we were, just three guys in a 60s muscle car driving down a deserted road into some unknown future that noe of us could imagine. When we entered college we felt like big adults, men, but that day came and reminded us that we were still children. There was nothing more sobering than the sights of 9/11.

On October 7th, 2001 President Bush sent troops into Afghanistan to fight the forces of the Taliban. On October 7th, 2001 I turned 20 years old. that evening I celebrated by watching our troops fight against the Taliban who had claimed responcability for the 9/11 attacks. the rest, they say, is history.